By Donna Shea & Nadine Briggs

Have you perhaps noticed that your child may be a little bit more irritable, stressed or disregulated in the last few weeks? It could very well be caused by end-of-school anxiety.

A major contributor could likely be underlying and rarely considered separation anxiety. We usually think of separation anxiety in terms of being away from parents. However, we are now asking kids to separate from their teachers, their friends and the routine that they have followed all year. Add to that, the unknown of what the new school year will bring in terms of all of these things, and you can see why kids may be feeling more antsy than usual.

Other factors that may be impacting your child include that they are likely going through or have just gone through standardized testing (in Massachusetts, we have MCAS). We should also consider the multiple disruptions of daily routines with field trips, field days, concerts, assemblies, and all of the other out-of-the-ordinary activities that make-up the month of June for many kids.

How to help your child through the last few school days?

1. Acknowledge that summer separations and all of the “last” things of the year are a little sad for everyone. Let your child talk about it if he or she is feeling anxious.
2. Counter that with explaining that it is another transition and that your child has likely already made several successful ones each new school year. Reinforce that it is okay to move on.
3. Focus on the summer ahead and talk to your child about fun summer plans.
4. Encourage your child to write a thank you note to favorite educators or classroom buddies. Your child could bring in something for kids to autograph. You might recall asking kids to sign autograph books when you were a child.

And hey, moms and dads, we know the end of the school year brings a lot of “extra” into your life too, and the lives of all of the school personnel who work with our kids each day. So if we are all a little grumpy right now, this is why. Hang in there. Before we all know it, we will be at the beach, going to camp and eating too many popsicles!

By Nadine Briggs and Donna Shea

People who have ADHD are challenged with tasks that involve organization. The ability to perform executive function and planning tasks is handled by the prefrontal cortex in the brain which is located in the forehead area.

The prefrontal cortex is a part of the brain located at the front of the frontal lobe. It is implicated in a variety of complex behaviors, including planning, and greatly contributes to personality development. Source: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/prefrontal-cortex.

The bigger the organizational task, the harder it is. Those of us who don’t have this challenge can find it hard to understand why it’s so hard. We think things like “what do you mean you don’t know where to start? Just dig in!” As parents, when our children don’t complete tasks that are asked of them, we often punish and give consequences. But what if they really can’t do what is asked of them without help? The truth is people with ADHD and executive function challenges might need scaffolding in order to complete certain tasks. Getting frustrated and angry with them will not only not be helpful but it will likely increase anxiety and make the task initiation and completion even more difficult.

When my (Nadine) son came home from finishing his freshman year of college, he brought home all of his “stuff”. Suitcases, boxes, books, literally loads of stuff that covered his bedroom floor. It was a ridiculous amount considering the small size of his dorm room. He was home for a week living with this mess when he sent a picture of his floor to his friend on SnapChat with the caption “I’m not exactly good at unpacking” to which he got the response from his friend, Morgan, “How about I come over tomorrow night and help you unpack?” Well now, isn’t that an offer not to be refused? Morgan generously loaned out her prefrontal cortex that night. She helped him unpack, get organized and made his room much more livable. People who live with executive function challenges need the kindness of people like Morgan.

By Donna Shea & Nadine Briggs

There are times in all friendships when “icky” moments occur. There are times in business relationships when “icky” moments occur too. The potential for “ick” doubles when you are both best friends and business colleagues like Donna and Nadine. We also own two nearly identical social skills centers that serve the same clientele.

Friendship and business rarely mix well. Friendship and, what could be seen as competing businesses, would be nearly impossible, right? Not if you practice what you teach. While this post isn’t our customary one about helping kids, it is one about social skills, communication skills and problem-solving in general. It is also about the importance of friendship and close relationships.

So, how do we manage to stay friends and be in business together AND separately? By recognizing and addressing the unique pitfalls that we may be subject to and pro-actively practicing “ick” prevention.

For example, while our centers are somewhat of a distance apart and we draw from different service areas, there are some towns in-between us that give parents both of our centers as an option. That’s no biggie. If a parent chooses to visit both of us and then decide which location and available group best suits their needs and schedule, we just know that’s how the chips fall and it’s not an issue. We run the same program that we’ve worked together to hone over the years, with slight differences in delivery. (For those of you who are thinking, “why don’t they just work in one center together?” while many of our ideas, interests, and programs are the same, our individual preferences for business models is different.)

Where an occasional “ick” has shown up is when a family attempts to jump from one center over to the other without us directly referring them (sometimes this happens because one of us has a better fit for a particular child). Sure, neither Nadine and I (or our staff members) can be everyone’s cup of tea. This is where our friendship runs the business. We are not going to risk our friendship and all that we have built together over a client that wants to jump ship from one to the other. This can happen either directly or by not telling us and then somehow we discover that one of our clients has mysteriously shown up in the other’s groups when we do a mutual event, etc.

We prevent this particular “ick” by having as our policy to ask straight out if an interested family is currently involved or enrolled in the past with the other one’s center. If that is the case, we either refer them back to resolve what needs to be resolved at the other center, or provide resources for other social skills programs. We do not take each other’s clients. It prevents hurt feelings and damage to our friendship. Sometimes a potential client consciously chooses not to disclose this information.  We can’t know that this has happened due to our adherence to client confidentiality. It still feels “icky” if a client’s non-disclosure somehow comes to light, and it’s just something we know happens beyond the scope of what we have control over. For us, it’s not worth us allowing these rare instances to crack our friendship and business code.