“Would You Like to Hang Out Sometime?” – 6 Steps for Success
By Nadine Briggs and Donna Shea
It takes a tremendous amount of bravery to ask someone that question. Before taking this bold step toward friendship, here are steps to laying the groundwork to enhance your chances for a positive outcome.
- Consider if you’ve spent time with this person in a place where you’ve had a chance to socialize. It might not be enough just to sit next to that person in class you want to be sure you’ve had social moments together.
- Consider if those social moments together have been positive, awkward or if you’re unsure about how they’ve gone. If they’ve been awkward or your unsure, you might need more time to develop the groundwork before asking them if they want to hang out.
- Consider what you would do together if they said yes. You’ll want to make sure you have common interests to make hanging out together less awkward and more enjoyable.
- If you take this brave step in the person says yes, awesome! If you take this brave step and the person says no or has another reason as to why they can’t, regroup and continue to lay the groundwork. It can be hard to tell if someone is legitimately busy or if they are not ready to hang out just yet. One surefire way to tell that they are legitimately busy is if they suggest an alternative date to hang out.
- If someone says that they are too busy to hang out, don’t automatically assume that they dislike you. Often times people who have anxiety will jump to conclusions when, in fact, the person might just be busy.
- If they do say yes, still proceed with caution. By that we mean don’t refer to them as your best friend or start to hang out with them every second of the day or become too clingy. Even though they’ve said yes, they still might need some space and some time to get to know you.
Friendship takes quite a bit of effort. It takes effort to lay the groundwork in order to be able to ask someone to hang out and, once they do agree to hang out with you, still go slow with that person so if you can develop a true lasting friendship.